Oh, Television. You make life so interesting.

My grandmother is a very interesting person. She’s very set in her ways and very rarely accepts new information into her scope of what is real. 

She’s also not very discreet about how she thinks all fat people are unattractive. And that I’m a fat person. I love her, but she’s a bit difficult to deal with. 

Anyway - 

So she approaches me today with information that she’s gotten off of one of the daytime television shows she likes to watch now that she’s retired. 

Apparently, if you eat avocado and oranges in your salad you’ll lose belly fat. 

So I explained to her that you can’t control what area of your body you lose fat from by changing the things you eat. You can’t necessarily say “If I eat Oranges, my stomach will get smaller, not my boobs.” Just like you can’t eat a bacon cheeseburger and decide that it’ll make your boobs bigger, but not your thighs.

She made it pretty clear that she thinks I’m a know-it-all, but at least she didn’t argue! 

Also, on a side note, avocado and orange sounds pretty good. 

Numbers are not my friend today.

Numbers on the scale. 

Numbers on my bank ledger. 

Number of pages I haven’t written yet in this paper. 

Numbers are the worrrrrst. 

Anonymous asked: You're a disappointment. I started following this blog a year ago and you were like a breath of fresh air. You were confidence, and poise, and ambition and success and you let all of it go to waste. Now you're fatter than you were before, not really making any progress, you don't talk about your diet or your workouts, and all of your posts have either been pictures - and theres already enough of those on tumblr, thanks - or super mopey posts about your super mopey life. What happened to you?

 Well. This isn’t wrong. 

You’re right. I lost a lot of my mojo. When I started this blog last year I was in a period of my life that was defined by great hope and high expectation. The subsequent year was very challenging, disappointing and disheartening on many levels; physical, social, and emotional, just to name a few.

So yeah. My blog changed, because my life changed. I post a lot of pictures now because my appreciation for the beauty that I am surrounded by is one of the few things I am consistently postive about anymore. Sometimes, when things get really difficult to deal with by myself, I’ll post something long and whiney about the things that are weighing on my mind, because this is my blog, and it’s about my life. Usually, I delete those posts because while they are completely accurate and heartfelt in the moment I wrote them, they are not consistent with the original spirit of this blog which I struggle to hold on to, both in the tumblrverse and in my everyday life.

I’m sorry I disappointed you. Desperately sorry. I wish that weren’t the case. If it’s any consolation, I’m disappointed in me, too. Thanks for being gentle with me, though, I appreciate that. God knows I’m hard enough on myself as is, it’s really great to get supportive messages like this one from time to time. 

….oh wait…

Have a lovely weekend.

I firmly believe that there exists a balance in this world…

….and that all of my bad days are offset somewhere by someone having an excellent day. That’s somewhat comforting.

Today is very blahhhh.
Hope it’s going better for all of you.